Looks can be deceptive.
Once not so long ago, there were three office colleagues, Nisha, Kinjal and Shruti, who were also good friends. All three used to have lunch together. One day during lunch hour, Shruti went to the food counter to get a refill. As she returned back and made herself comfortable sitting on the chair, she saw Nisha and Kinjal exchanging glances constantly. As if some inside joke going on between them and it continued till the rest of the lunch.Assuming that they were exchanging some inside jokes about her, she started keeping a distance from them. Her attitude changed towards them sensing that they may be making fun of her behind her back (after all she have had similar experiences in the past so it came as a natural trigger thought to her). So much was the impact that she didn't even speak about her birthday that was approaching and the plans. Weeks passed by until one day, Kinjal confronted Shruti blatantly asking what's wrong with her, has she or Nisha done something. What's the reason behind such a massive change in her temperament? Shruti couldn't hold back and blurted out everything- whatever happened that day, what she didn't like and what she thought based on the looks.Kinjal was shocked listening to what she heard! Recovering from the shock, it took her a moment to retrieve and she told Shruti, that day Nisha and herself were planning for her surprise birthday treat. The floor beneath Shruti's foot slipped listening to this. As she realized what a terrible mistake she made just based on the assumption she made about the looks she saw on their faces that day, and letting her childhood insecurities trigger and take over her. It's perhaps true, looks CAN be deceptive at times as in the above story*. Making assumptions basis certain activity/ action you didn’t like or understand can often lead to misinterpretation of the scenario causing misunderstanding. Hence, it’s best to not let that moment trigger your insecurity and make any assumptions about the person or the situation solely on what they/it looks like. Rather, stay calm at the moment and let it pass if it's something as minuscule as mentioned in the above example since most likely it would just be something small that doesn't need your attention. However, in case a tough or awkward situation that keeps presenting itself again and again with the same people, it’s better to discuss it upfront about it and clear any doubts. In doing so, you would be behaving maturely and respectfully from a genuine place of concern as you want to mend a thought that is troubling you and can potentially impact your rapport with the other person. *The story is based on a true event, names and personality details have been altered/ not disclosed.
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Keywords : Work Relationships Friends Looks Misunderstandings Assumptions