My weakness or forgiveness

I was sitting on the terrace staring at the crimson sky. This is my favourite hobby or my technique to relax my overburdened mind. Because of no free space in mind body also becomes too lazy to move. So just to remove all these sometimes I simply stare at the sunset and during this time so many thoughts forcibly enters into my mind.

Suddenly the phone rang and it was my mother. Mom was asking me about the preparation for my father -in-law 's death anniversary. I was in no mood to talk about my father-in-law, the person I hate most in the world. So I made some excuses and told mom that I will call later. Though I disconnected the call but my mind couldn't disconnect. My mind was walking down in the memory lane.

All the 16 years of my married life was right before me. starting from my marriage date to till my father-in-law passed away. My first impression of my father-in-law was that he was very angry, dominating and always proving that he is the father of a son.so he is superior But I had thought this will gradually change he will be a better human being. My parents also thought that as his wife is no more he is behaving rudely but he will change for better. But all our hopes started fading with each passing day. Every day if he will behave with me in an inhuman way. every day he will devise ways to torture me and my parents in the name of rituals and traditions. And if I resist he will tell "what people will say?"The people will question your upbringing. They will say bad about your parents. So I always kept mum and obeyed everything silently. Of course, my only companion was my unending rain of tears.But the height of inhumanity was when in the name of tradition my father-in-law became the reason of my miscarriage. I cried to my heart 's content but never wanted to go against his will . with the passage of time his torture continued and with my tears I tolerated everything just for the sake of my duty,my'dharma'.He never behaved as a human being in the all 16 years. His behaviour towards his daughters was full of love,care etc . but for me he was no less than a demon.All these things continued even when he became paralytic. His tongue never stopped even during those 3 years. His tongue was only spewing venom for me because he always wanted to show he is the father of a son.Till the moment my father-in-law breathed his last I never had the will to oppose him,to tell him that he is inhuman, to show him that if I want within a few hours he will be behind the bars for his torture in the name of rituals. But today I am thinking why did not I raise my voice when I always had the opportunity "WAS IT because of my forgiveness given to me by my parents OR my weakness.