The Strength in Flaws
What can be the best compliment you give to someone?
Compliment about their looks? Physique? Intellect? Job? Money? Maybe you can compliment how clean and tidy they are. Or maybe about how well they behave.
But you know what is the rarest compliment someone may get? I think it is when you tell someone how strong they are. I mean wouldn't we all want someone to appreciate not what is visible to our eyes but instead what is not?
We all have our own problems in our life. All of us suffer from depression, loneliness, insecurities, tension, stress, anger issues and what not sometime or the other. And yet we all have the strength to hide our issues behind us with a smile or with a nonchalance. We all have the strength to move on, some slower than others, but atleast not give up. We all have the strength to choose the difficult path of living and facing the problems without giving up. And in my opinion that is the biggest achievement of our life.
But how many times have you been told you are strong? How many times have you told someone else you are proud how strong they are? We take it as something totally granted. Everyone wants to know they are the strongest. Everyone has the opinion only their life has the biggest problems. And it may be true too. I am not comparing whose problems are bigger and whose smaller, but at the end of the day we all have some. And so being compassionate about other's issues is important too. We may never know how deep someone is struggling, only because they show you the tip of their issues. We may never know what someone's past was like, for them becoming the way they are now. We may never know how they deal with their issues and we sure as hell don't have the right to judge them on their choices.
We all have our ways to deal with the issues surrounding us. Some of us sleep to escape them, while some of us find our own passions to distract us. Some of us put a permanent smile on our faces to hide our inner sorrow while others hide behind indifference to shadow all their emotions from the world. While some of us harm ourselves in a hope to replace the mental pain with a physical. And the worst part is, there are not many now who are willing to help us out of our issues, who are there to lend a helping hand or even an ear to atleast listen out to the sorrow. Everyone has become so busy with their own issues that we forget sometimes others are suffering too. And what people fail to realise is that sometimes helping others means helping us. When we give someone our time and a shoulder to lean on, even we gain a shoulder which will be there for us or an ear to hear out our deep issues. And the people who do lend this shoulder to others in need are my heroes! I am so proud of everyone out there who has stopped to help out a stranger, did a deed of kindness for an unknown or been there for someone else and given their time and heart, even when they had their own set of problems to deal with.
Starting with the people who have ever decorated their body with razor marks, the designs you have made on your body are fabulous honey. They show others what you have endured, what you have survived when all you wanted was to give up on life. But then, why ruin your beautiful skin, when these designs could have looked better on a canvas or on a wall. The energy spent on cutting your skin could have spent on cutting carving of wood to create masterpieces. The physical pain you have endured while harming your body could have been endured after a day of hard work towards your passions. Channelling the need of finding an outlet of our anger is perhaps the most important when faced with heavy issues. You need physical pain to shut your mental pain? Run until your legs start to hurt, exhausting your negative thoughts. Work until your arms can no longer have the strength to hold the razor to your skin. Put your mind to work so hard that you can no longer feel the negative images dwindling in them. Lose yourselves in your passions, in your future achievements. The pain of these hardships would speak louder than the ones on your skin even though they would be of same intensity. Don't let the problems in your life make you bring yourself down, do not let that fire in your eyes get extinguished with tears of sorrow but rather fuel them with the sweat of your hardwork. Yes, I agree it is easy said than done. But I also believe in the power of writing. I'm sure each of you who are going through something similar can give it a try, give my opinions a chance so that I have a chance of helping someone out.
To all the people who have stopped living their lives happily because of your problems, I have a gift for you strong people.. :) A smile. No, it is not something you all can hide behind when people ask how you are. It is a prototype of the emotion you all need to find in your lost selves. Someday when all these angered or depressed marks will be etched permanently on your skin, you'll realise they were useless at the time. Life gets better after awhile. Your problems may be unsolvable, but so are the stretch marks and pimples on our skin. They fade away sometime or the other too right? So will the issues. But what you will regret the most would be the chances you would miss because of the cloud of despair around you. Don't give your problems the satisfaction of handling your life, don't let anyone or anything hold the string to your life. Balance is what our life craves for, so balance your sorrows with happiness, problems with laughs and low moods with good memories. Always know that without the bad times you can't cherish the good ones too. Even the phoenix burns down before it emerges from the ashes. So let yourself go weak, but don't stay there forever. Cry for your pain, but learn to let it go too. It doesn't mean to forget your problems but rather move on keeping them in your heart. Cherish the happy memories alongwith the sad ones. Make happy memories. Your past doesn't define you, the people who left you don't define you, the things that happened don't define you. What defines you is how you act, talk, your actions, your behaviour, your present, how you choose to carry yourself even with the momentous weight of your past.
Talking about our issues is not a taboo. Sharing our grief with others is not a sin. Helping out someone out of their problems is not a work, it's called humanity. To all the people reading this, you all should know you guys have a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear out your problems and a mind to even give you advice if you wish. The universe has enough darkness, be the sun, shining bright even at its own existence's expense, lighting up people's day with your radiance. And I admire all you people who are strong enough to breakthrough your issues weighing you down and manage to go through life day after day. You all are the real heroes, who are setting an example for others by not letting your life fall and crumble down. Even if people don't compliment you enough about this, I want each of you to know that I'm proud of all you strong people out there. And even tomorrow, when your other qualities might recede with time, your strength will be constant.